Guild of Calamitous Intent : DrEvil
by Rorschachsidekick1
Summary: Even some of the world's most powerful super villains have to do paperwork. And the Guild of Calamitous Intent, the head of the villain world, make about that...


Dr. Evil hated these meeting. He's in charge of a global criminal organization, for god's sake! Throw him a freaking bone here! You'd figure such a fact would keep him from having to do such bureaucratic bullshit. Yet here he was,waiting for a transmission, with three associates at his sides. One, was his assistant and sometimes lover, Frau. The other, was his ungrateful son, Scotty. And the third was his adorable pint-size clone, mini-me, who was sitting in an chair identical to his own.

"This had be better be good." muttered his assistant/lover. She nodded her head in agreement, for she did not favor the guild as well. Believed it prevent them from being effective.

"Dr. Evil." The screens in front of them lit up with the silhouettes of the Council members. "Bow before the Council of Thirteen."

"I'd rather not. But Scotty does." He eyed his son. "Well?" The teenage son only sighed and took a bow, clearly rolling his eyes as he did so.

"It has come to the Guild's attention that you are in charge of an organization, whose operation is much larger than most others. And have for some time."said councilmen 4. "And you have not yet submitted the require paperwork to advance your operations."

"Scotty! You forgot to mail back the paperwork, didn't you?!" Dr. Evil exclaimed aggravated. He caught Scotty off guard but he didn't care. It was because of him that he had to indulge this crap.

"Uh no, I coulda sworn I-"

"Scotty did!"

"But dad! I-"

"Scotty did!"

"But-"

"Silence!" cried Council-member 12. "Because of this negligence, the Guild has no choice, but allow the clause of 87D into effect. Meaning if you were to perish or pass away, other Guild members are entitled to repossess and own a fraction of your operation and resources".

"What?! But I worked hard for this empire of mine!" Exclaimed Dr. Evil. This really pissed off. The whole reason he was a part of this goddamn Guild, was so he wouldn't have to deal with competition.

"We are sorry but that is the penalty of such ignorance. Such paperwork was made to prevent that said clause." Said council-member 6

This not only aggravated the doctor, it even aggravated Mini-me, who took out a barber's razor and hold it menacingly at the monitors.

"Is there any way Herr doctor could prevent such an outcome?" Frau finally spoke, wanting to know if there could be an alternative.

"I'm afraid there isn't too many options. In this profession, one could easily perish. And the Council cannot allow any operation to continue unchecked." Explained council-member 2

This had put Frau and the doctor into a glum mood right now. It means all their hard work, efforts, and ambitions would be for not. And could easily happen if that Austin

Powers lands one lucky bullet on him.

But for some reason, young Scott had a smile on his face. Hinting that he had either a good idea or a brilliant idea. Whatever it was, Scott had finally decided to speak up.

"What about the clause of fantom-as, under article 26A? Indulging the continuation of operations, while entitled to a heir of a Guild member." Spoke the words of the idea.

"Hmmm?" Hummed from all the council member. They had suddenly become interested in such a second opinion. Even dr. Evil, Frau, and mini-me became curious to hear this.

"According to the clause of fantom-as, article 26A, if a guild member were to become deceased, they are entitled to a premeditated will and testament" Scott explained " if such a will has documented wishes towards a heir or spouse, they are entitled to inherit the previous operation and power."

This was all a lot of surprising information. It had made the council silent. And even made his father and associates bugged eyed with surprisal.

"Enlighten the council on such information, Scott Evil". Said council-member 1

"Obviously I am my fathers biological son. If my father were document such a will and testament, his operation and organization would be inherited to me, and entitled to me and any other of his heirs."

"Heirs? You speak as if there were more who could inherit. Enlighten the council on that." Said council-member 1, picking up on Scott's final word spoken.

Scott went pale after realizing his mistake. He looked back at his father and associates, who motioned to continue. But he didn't pay attention to that. He mainly noticed his fathers clone, sporting a slasher smile on his face. He shudders as he turns back towards the council.

"Well as you can tell, my fathers clone also counts as a biological heir, entitled to inheritance and all. And as for my fathers assistant, a DNA test would show that she is my biological mother. Entitling her to some inheritance." Scott explained with reluctance

There was some murmuring amongst the Council members. "Son, inheritance for you and the clone is guaranteed. But for your mother she wouldn't be so fortunate on the loophole". Said councilman 1, "for she is not a blood not martial relative of your fathers."

"I understand as such...but what if my mother and father were to indulge in Duo ship?"

This request so to speak, had caused to spit take on the bottle of water he was drinking.

Duo ship was the villainous equivalent to marriage. But he was still free on the market!

Before he could any input or protests, The guild had already spoken.

"That could work."

"Would that be able to revert the 87D clause?" Scott questions

"Yes indeed it would." Replied the fifth councilmen

"Great then". Replies Scott

"It shall be arranged then. you should be grateful for your son here. He just practically saved your empire." Said councilmen 1

"The Council of 13 will contact if we are to need to inform you of anything else. Until then, the council out." Said councilmen 10, as the 13 screens went black.

Dr. Evil was speechless. And so was Frau. And mini-me basically just fainted! Here they were, just a legality almost away from losing their empire and SCOTT just saved them from such a fate!

All they did was stare(mini-me lying unconscious), as Scott turned towards them, sporting a diabolical smirk...


End file.
